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101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged, by H. Norman Wright
Get Free Ebook 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged, by H. Norman Wright
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About the Author
H. Norman Wright is a well-respected Christian counselor who has helped thousands of people improve their relationships and deal with grief, tragedy, and other concerns. He helps couples bring vibrancy to their relationships through counseling, seminars, and more than 90 books, including Before You Say “I Do” and After You Say “I Do.” Norm also reveals insights for spiritual growth, great relationships, and success in devotionals that include Strong to the Core, Quiet Times for Every Parent, and Truly Devoted: What Dogs Teach Us About Life, Love, and Loyalty. www.hnormanwright.com
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Product details
Paperback: 142 pages
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers; 37681st edition (June 1, 2004)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0736913947
ISBN-13: 978-0736913942
Product Dimensions:
5.2 x 0.3 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
346 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#7,871 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Disclaimer: usually I hate this sort of book. I thought it would be similar to books (or blogs) I've read before that suggest all of these inane questions recommended for getting to know someone. My partner and I tried a couple of those, but it just felt like we were going through an awkward checklist and not really getting anything out of the experience.I found this book accidentally, and it was a complete game changer. Because of the way the questions are asked, it forces you to talk about issues that may not usually arise when dating (or to talk about them at a deeper level that you might have avoided). And not just issues - hopes, dreams, expectations. Things that may or may not come out in pre-marital counseling. I discovered some dreams my now-FI has about marriage that it would have never occurred to me to ask about. And we have been able to face up to some potentially serious issues in a safe, hypothetical environment - which has allowed us to prepare for handling those issues when the stakes are higher. We are just beginning pre-marital counseling now, and, thanks to this book, we already feel like we have a really solid understanding of our strengths and challenges as a couple.As another reviewer said, the intro wasn't that helpful for us. We skipped it and went straight for the questions.Overall, this book can be a great tool if both people are on board. Because some of the questions get pretty deep - questions about control, family boundaries, reasons why someone would or wouldn't (yikes!) want to spend the rest of their life with you - the key to using this book effectively is having both people completely on board. If one person is more committed than the other or isn't really interested in answering the questions fully, I doubt you'll get much out of it.The biggest benefit for us was using this book to establish a pattern of open, honest communication - even when it comes to uncomfortable topics. For that reason alone, I would recommend this book.
This book is AWESOME! Chock full of deep discussion questions that you wouldn't think to talk about! They leave plenty of space below the question to write down your answers if you so desire. My boyfriend and I are working through this book and are really enjoying spending time together and learning about one another. Hopefully talking about some of these topics now will prevent misunderstandings/arguments in the future! I'll list some of the questions below...2. What is your greatest fear or concern about being married? What have you done to address these concerns?19. What are your beliefs about prenuptial agreements?45. These are all of the activities that I enjoy doing (list them). Of all these things, which ones wouldn't you enjoy doing with me?61. What has been the greatest amount of debt you have experienced?96. Who are the people in your life you've needed to forgive, and how did you accomplish this?
Great book for those who are either in a serious relationship or are newly engaged. It covers a lot of topics that are important in today's relationships. The book basically discusses a situation or a scenario and then each partner is suppose to write down their thoughts and share the idea. I was in a long distance relationship, so we would just flip to a random page, and then discuss the topic. Topics include important subjects like: finances, parenting styles, thoughts on family involvement, careers, hard decisions, etc. Religious and Christian topics are also discussed.
I've recommended this book to no less than 4 friends. I've been married for a year and my husband and I worked through this book while we were dating and engaged. I seriously believe that many people could avoid a bad match if they addressed these questions with a potential spouse before getting engaged. Are the questions easy? Not really, but they are very necessary. Knowing about a persons family life, their values, their spending habits, their parenting approach, and their past relational baggage is not fun stuff, but VITAL if you actually want to avoid divorce. My husband and I just celebrated our first anniversary and we were told the first year is the hardest. It has been wonderful and sooo easy. We've encountered fights and difficulties, but it has been a joy being married to each other. I attribute some of that success to the fact the we covered so much through using this book. I feel that pre-marital counseling could benefit from utilizing this book.
My girlfriend and I are currently going through this book together. Some people mentioned the section at the beginning immediately turning them off of their partner, however that was not the case for my girlfriend and I. None of the issues posed in the front of the book caused us any problems. Some of the questions in the book you may already have discussed (which means you have a healthy relationship where you actually communicate). However, the books that I have not discussed with my girlfriend before buying the book are pretty eye opening. As a religious couple this book definitely places some emphasis on religion which is great.If you are thinking about getting engaged, buy this book.
This book is like a marriage/relationship counselor in a your hands. My girlfriend of 4 years and I started it together yesterday and only got through 12 questions in 2 or 3 hours. It was deeply reflective, introspective, and extrospective - and we've only just began. Fantastic decision and I'm glad we can be so honest with each other - that's the key - the honesty and investment in truthful and authentic answers.
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